lundi 15 décembre 2014
mardi 2 décembre 2014
vendredi 28 novembre 2014
vendredi 1 août 2014
jeudi 31 juillet 2014
lundi 21 juillet 2014
lundi 12 mai 2014
SELECTION OF FUNNY SOTRY
SELECTION OF FUNNY SOTRY
In a terrible battle against a raging lion, Tarzan loses an eye , an arm and his penis. The animals of the jungle and the nurse him back to life.
They grafted him a hawk eye , an arm of the gorilla and the cock they take the trunk of a baby elephant.
After a week of convalescence he returned home and found Cheetah.
" And your plugins , what do you think ? " she asked "Eye good Tarzan see far and clear ... good arm ... long and hard ... but not very satisfied Tarzan new tail ... all day picking grass and stuff in ass Tarzan.
In Africa, three white (say, French , Canadian and Belgian ) are leaning on a bar and sip their whiskey. Suddenly, the door opens with a bang and a huge black 2 meters, built like a bulldozer enters the bar . He approaches the French , he drinks his glass and said:
- Me , white women , I fuck!
- No problem, that's cool! meets the green french funk .
Then the black will approach the Canadian , he drinks his glass and said:
- Me , white women , I fuck!
- This is super cool for you , says the Canadian stammering .
Finally, the black approaches the Belgian , he drinks his glass and said again :
- Me , white women , I fuck!
- You're right , meets the Belgian , I also found the disgusting black women ...
An American farmer has lost his brave rooster. He then went to the market but is a little late , unfortunately. It begins to look roosters remain but there is more than one, skinny , half sprawled on the edge of his cage. He goes to the owner and asked him:
- How you ask for cock?
- $ 500
- $ 500 ! ! Are you sick ?
- Ho there , beware friend. This cock is one of the largest specimen of its kind. It is able to make your hens, no rooster is capable of doing . Saying he has nothing to lose, our farmer pays and takes his cock.
Drove home , it loose in his backyard and then will feed the animals in the barn . Suddenly, he heard a terrible noise : v'la ti'pa the cock is fucking chickens at a breakneck pace ! After his incredible fucking , cock falls to the ground , eyes closed.
The farmer , groans , says :
- Well, I have done ! This cock is already nothing!
The next day, wake up , the farmer still hear a terrible noise coming from the farm. He looks out the window and sees his cock putting rabbits and turkeys ! Again, after his incredible fucking , cock falls to the ground , eyes closed.
The farmer , groans , says :
- Well, this time for sure , I have done ! This cock is worthless !
The following morning , same scenario. The cock pops everything that moves in the farm: cows, pigs , chicken ... then collapses. Vultures begin to turn around the farm in the sky. The farmer arrives at a run and starts screaming :
- My poor cock! My God ...
Then the rooster opens one eye, one wing tip to the sky and whispered to the farmer :
- Tssss ! Shut ! You'll scare them !
That's three samurai who want to measure their address saber. They choose a judge who will guarantee the fairness of the game which will take place between 3 warriors.
The judge who knows tournament Samurai brought them something to measure : It opens a small box in which there is a fly.
Katana samurai out of its sheath in a flash, and the fly falls to the ground , cut in half !
The judge is satisfied with the first performance , and he congratulated the first samurai. When the second samurai is ready , the judge opens a new box and let fly another fly .
This time , the second gives two samurai saber in the air and fly falls , cut into four !
This time , the judge was very impressed . And he says the second samurai. But there is a third competitor. When it is ready , the judge opens its third box containing a third fly ...
The samurai takes out his sword and draws an arabesque in the air, and puts his sword , but the fly continues to fly ... The judge said:
- But the fly is still alive !
- That's right, meets the third samurai , but it can never happen again.
118 - Three shipwrecked on a desert island ...
A French and a Belgian couple .
The French thought he must find a solution to "his" loneliness and decides baratiner Belgians .
The French : - Let see , you know it was worth a moment before going on a boat ...
Belgian : - Alley, but it's true what he says
French: - So here's what I propose . To be sure not to miss any boat should keep watch from above a tree
Belgian : - Well , it's not as stupid idea, you say
OK so I started the French and goes upward palm , -: the French .
It is not that there is 5 minutes he shouted to the Belgians:
- Hey down, it is not because I see no need to enjoy!
Belgian : - What did he say? But I do not say what it means ! 5 minutes later , same thing:
French: - So band salaupiots ! this is not just done to send in the air?
Belgian : - Alley, alley , what it can say ? But I do not understand what he says this Castard ...
After an hour, punctuated every 5 minutes by the injunctions of the French , it comes down and says:
- Go to the Belgian, it's your turn to get on the palm for the watch !
Belgian and climbs up the tree ... Alone with the Belgian woman , the French soon leads to the spiel and he makes ... From the top of the tree, the Belgian looks , sees that goes down and said:
" Well, it's still true that here it looks like they fuck ...
vendredi 4 avril 2014
vendredi 7 mars 2014
lundi 3 mars 2014
vendredi 14 février 2014
Valentine's Day ! Funny jokes and stories
For Valentine's Day , here are some funny jokes and stories
What would the woman without the man?
- It would take another pet.
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What is the definition of loyalty ?
Answer: a lack of opportunities ...
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This is a guy who goes home. He finds his wife doing her suitcases .
- What are you doing?
- I leave you to live a better life in Monaco ! I saw a story that could make 500 Euro for a sexual relationship.
The guy thinks he can spell his suitcase and begins to pile up its affairs.
- What are you doing? asked his wife.
- I go to Monaco too. I want to see how you fared with you 1000 Euro per year!
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Two soldiers talk together .
- Why did you joined the army ?
Because I 'm single and I love the war ... have you?
- I am married and I wanted peace !
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A woman asks her husband :
- What kind of woman would you rather have ? A very smart woman or a beautiful woman ?
- Neither , honey. You know it's you that I chose.
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Naked woman looks in the mirror and said to her husband :
- I'm horrible darling, fat and ugly . I need a compliment! "
The husband replied: "You have a good view ! "
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The day of Valentine's Day, in a grand hotel in Venice , room boy knocked on the door of the room of a couple:
- Mr. he wants something ?
- Me , no, thank you !
- And for your wife ?
- Ah ! yes ... Good idea ... Bring me a postcard so I'll write it!
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Two men discuss :
At home , it is I who command. Yesterday for example , I told my wife : Honey , give me hot water !
- And she gave you in right now?
- Yes, right away! Me for anything , I would do the dishes in cold water!
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Discuss two lions in the shade of a tree :
- Come on, tell me you're in love !
- Stops great fool , you'll make me roar!
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dimanche 2 février 2014
vendredi 24 janvier 2014
Woman & Man story
Woman & Man story
1 - What is the difference between man and woman? The man still has the same pair of balls between his legs.
2 - Especially 8 men prefer women ...
The doctor, because he says: - "Take off your clothes!"
The dentist, because he says: - "Open it so great!"
The driver, because he says: - "I'll put it in front or behind?"
The decorator, because he says: - "Once inside, you'll love it."
Stockbroker, because he says: - "It will climb, fluctuate, and down slowly."
The banker, because he says: - "If you pull too fast, you will lose all interest."
Network agent, because he says: - "You want it on the table or against the wall?"
And finally the Hunter - Because it enters the bush fires two shots and eat it drew
jeudi 16 janvier 2014
mercredi 15 janvier 2014
Devil Baby Attack : A demonic forgotten baby
Devil Baby Attack : A demonic forgotten baby in her stroller to promote a movie? This is the idea behind this video is to attract attention to the horror movie Devil's Due (The heir to the devil), due in theaters Friday, January 17.
And with more than 3.5 million views on YouTube at the time of publishing this, we can say that it is successful.
This initiative "prank marketing" therefore puts in scene a robotic baby crying in a "forgotten" in a New York street stroller. But the baby is actually a robotic baby. Beware curious who approach ...
samedi 11 janvier 2014
vendredi 3 janvier 2014
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